Gstaad a high altitude citadel that plays the sleeping beauty for 11 months a year and only for 10 days during the Christmas holidays and (and 20 sacrosanct days in February) wakes up kissed by her prince charming who in fact are the rich famous away in the Bernese Oberland Alps. Among these Valentino, Anne Hathaway, Beyoncè, Giancarlo Giammetti, Brigitta Notz and Julie Andrews. But they had houses Ranieri di Monaco, Liz Taylor, Roger Moore and Gunther Sachs. Peter Sellers was spinning the Pink Panther and there was a very capricious Brigitta Bardot (married to the playboy Gunther Sachs) and all the half-crowned heads of Europe. Which kingdom? Just take a look at the list of honorary members of the Eagle Club, one of the most famous clubs on the planet.
The municipality of Saanen, of which Gstaad is part, reports that the rich resort bursts like a wineskin, going from 7,500 residents to, approximately, 30,000, of which 1,700 seasonal workers and the remaining 6,000 belong to the galaxy of international celebrities. The cars go from 700 to 3000 taking into account that at auto / deluxe stables belong only SUVs, Porches and Bentleys, traffic at peak times (which are not those returning from the office but returning from the ski slopes) is like that on Ocean Drive in Miami.
And now, poor us, Madonna has also arrived, Angioline Joli versione, tribe of children, including 5 adopted. Here privacy is guaranteed, not like in that Barnum circus that has become Sankt Moritz. No paparazzi around here. As per tradition, the capere, that is the hairdressers (which here more elegantly call coiffeuse) are the best informed. It is she who confirms Modonna’s presence while she rents skis. Or just go to his Instagram profile. Between filters, lifting and Botox boosters looks younger than her daughter Lourdes. Her hands are skilfully covered with hand knitted half gloves.
The seven rules if you happen to meet the most grumpy rock star there is.
1) Don’t even try to ask her for a selfie, a cordon of bodyguards is ready to bounce like a snowball.
2) He can do everything, dance, sing and communicate, but can’t ski, if you recognize it on the slopes to avoid a carom, turn away.
3) At the most, you can get some confidence with the waiter who once served you a raclette à la Fromagerie del Palace. All strictly confidential, of course. T.ipo which cheese he prefers and the almond soufflé he wants inafflé with Grand Marnier.
4) Covid emergency closed discos. Then the Alpina hires for an alive and stellar djsetting David Guetta. Also announced is the rock star who gives up at the last minute to avoid close homicronized breaths.
5) How much did it cost to rent two chalets? One for her, equipped with a swimming pool, cinema room and mini-spa, and the other for the staff. Add a zero to any digit and you are close.
6) The fireworks light up the valley. It seems to be in Piedigrotta without the willful candles in San Gennaro. Here, at most they would light up to the Madonna in the Catholic church of Gstaad. Mass on January 1st, 4pm. Here too the pop star is a fugitive. Like snowflakes. It rains, not just wealth. And trallallà …
All the rest are trifles (indeed let’s call them madonnerie) of a common mortal.
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