Emily Ratajkowski hated herself after rape: Why did I moan?

It may be that Emily Ratajkowski has become both rich and famous as a result of her looks, but that certainly does not mean that she is jubilantly happy to look the way she does.

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In fact, it can be a great pressure to be considered one of the most beautiful women in the world.

It tells the 30-year-old supermodel in a series of essays in the book ‘My Body’, where she shares a wide range of personal and detailed stories. It writes The Sun.

In her writings, Emily Ratajkowski says, among other things, that she has been ‘too sexy’ since she was just 13 years old.

Emily Ratajkowski photographed in June 2019.

Emily Ratajkowski photographed in June 2019.
Photo: Angela Weiss

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She remembers, among other things, how she was sent home from a school party at the time because her clothes were too ‘challenging’, but that her mother subsequently encouraged her to keep wearing sexy clothes that showed her body shape.

According to Emily Ratajkowski, her parents generally had too much focus on her appearance already as a child.

“I have never prayed much to God, but I remember as a young girl praying for beauty,” she writes, continuing:

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‘Beauty was for me a way I could be something special. When I was something special, I could feel my parents’ love the most. It seemed important to both of them, especially my mother, that their daughter was considered beautiful. “

Was raped as a teenager

Emily Ratajkowski was just 12 years old when she got her first modeling job. It was also in this connection that she noticed for the first time that the opposite sex was interested in her.

“I was a child,” she writes in the book and continues:

“But somehow I was already an expert in capturing male desire – even though I did not understand what to do with it.”

The supermodel also shares an example from an audition where a casting agent behaved inappropriately by saying the following while looking at her photos:

Emily Ratajkowski photographed in February 2020.

Emily Ratajkowski photographed in February 2020.
Photo: Jean-Baptiste Lacroix

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“This look… that’s how we know this girl is getting fucked.”

According to Emily Ratajkowski, she was embarrassed by the casting agent’s comment, but she was comforted by a female casting agent who said such comments were “a good thing.”

Just a few years after this, the then 15-year-old Emily Ratajkowski was subjected to a violent sexual assault when a one-year-old school friend raped her.

“I do not understand why my 15-year-old I did not scream as loud as I could,” she writes in the book and continues:

Tired of being a sex symbol

»Why did I moan? Who taught me not to scream? I hated myself. “

In the book, the model also looks back at Robin Thicke’s music video ‘Blurred Lines’, which made her world famous back in 2013 when she was 21 years old.

In the video, she – and a number of other women – appear completely naked, which created a great deal of attention.

Emily Ratajkowski has later accused singer Robin Thicke of sexually abusing her during filming.

In the book, she claims he touched her breasts and just laughed at her as she moved away from him.

Emily Ratajkowski photographed in September 2019.

Emily Ratajkowski photographed in September 2019.
Foto: CAITLIN OCHS

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Subsequently, she chose not to say anything to anyone because she was afraid it would ruin her career.

‘I had no real power like the naked girl dancing around in his music video. I was nothing more than a mannequin. “

At the time of writing, the ‘Blurred Lines’ music video has been viewed over 721 million times on YouTube and is one of the best-selling songs in the world.

However, the success has had a price, writes Emily Ratajkowski and says that she subsequently lost control of her own body.

“I built a platform by sharing pictures of myself and my body, but at the same time, I felt objectified and limited because I was considered a sex symbol.”

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