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Ellen Hillingsø did not hesitate to say yes when her boyfriend got down on one knee many years ago.
But when the wedding finally took place, it developed into such a devastating conflict that the couple ended up calling it quits.
“It could actually destroy the relationship,” says the 55-year-old actor in this week’s edition of the 24syv podcast ‘112 for broken hearts’.
Today, she has children Anna and Thomas, aged 17 and 19, with marketing director Christoffer Castenskiold, to whom she has been married since 2000.
But it would not necessarily have ended that way, if the couple had not pulled the handbrake when the wedding preparations grew over their heads at the time.
“It just got bigger and bigger and had less and less to do with us, and it created a huge crisis,” reveals Ellen Hillingsø, who was surprised by how much practice is involved in planning a wedding and how many big decisions that can end in arguments.
Not least because you also have to take into account the wishes and expectations of the outside world. She experienced this herself with her parents, who were a little too tradition-bound for her taste.
“And who said: ‘That uncle must come’, but I don’t know that uncle, and I know his wife even less. And then I can’t bring my girlfriends with me – or their boyfriends. It just ran and then we agreed to drop it. We hit the brakes,’ says Ellen Hillingsø in ‘112 for broken hearts’.
Ellen Hillingsø with her husband, Christoffer Castenskiold at a gala dinner on the occasion of Crown Prince Frederik’s 50th birthday in 2018.
Photo: Henning Bagger
The couple therefore dropped their plans for a large-scale wedding and got married secretly. Their parents and brothers were privy to the plans. But they were not invited.
“So him and I set off alone and got married in a lovely chapel at Valdemars Castle. No one was there – just the two of us,’ says Ellen Hillingsø, who after the wedding stayed at an inn with her husband for a few days.
“So that was our wedding. It was just an absolutely fantastic decision,’ she says.
Today, the couple remains happily married. But that doesn’t mean that they haven’t had conflicts since, says the actor and reveals that they often argue, so it blows up.
But that is only a good thing, she believes.
“Because if you can overcome a conflict, then you become stronger, and it is so strange that we are so afraid of resistance, because resistance shapes us and gives us character,” she says.