Come on, let’s do it like the animals
Bloodhound Markus Söder chases mini girls
By Volker Probst
01/25/2023 1:41 p.m
Markus Söder makes the bloodhound in the face of young girls. That sounds like a horror movie – and in a way it is. With an embarrassing Tiktok clip, the CSU is apparently trying to attract young voters – but especially female voters! – to address. Ouch!
When actor Christopher Lee – God bless him – had gradually passed his zenith as chief vampire, he mutated into a bloodsucker again in 1972. “Dracula hunts mini girls” was the significant title of the strip, which the prince of darkness probably wanted to ram a stake into his own heart at the sight of. And Bram Stoker, who once brought Dracula to life in literature, has probably turned in his grave.
Now there is a kind of new edition of the film, even if it’s only a few seconds long, doesn’t have any dialogue and the horror is rather subtle. We owe it to the CSU! Of course, the Christsozialen around their party leader Markus Söder also want to score points with young voters. Not to mention the voters. Accordingly, they have also been present on the really hip platform Tiktok for some time.
The CSU may be pursuing a strategy of subliminally damaging the Chinese operating company with its clips on the network. In any case, the party seems to think it’s a particularly cool idea to repeatedly stage their boss in Tiktok videos as Franken-Casanova, Hecht in the carp pond or (heterosexual, of course) Prince Charming.
Sex bomb Söder
Last August, the CSU caused a lot of head shaking, laughter and the ironic question: “What is satire allowed to do?” At that time, Söder was seen marching into the Bavarian state parliament, while a woman’s voice cheered in the background: “A hot new bombshell enters the villa.” Literally, this could be translated as follows: “A hot, new shell enters the mansion.” However, the word “bombshell” can also stand for a “sex bomb”. Shortly thereafter, a few more bars of the song “Don’t Call Me Up” by singer Mabel followed.
The original sentence and song snippets came from the British version of the dating show “Love Island”, which is also known in Germany. Mabel’s entry into the format was announced there accordingly. The sound fragment from the show was doing the rounds on Tiktok at the time and was used in numerous videos. The fact that the CSU jumped on this train to promote its Söder sex bomb seemed – to put it mildly – strange.
Markus on mini girl mission
But it gets even better. And even more embarrassing. Namely now – with the CSU remake under the motto “Markus, who hunts mini girls”. Söder’s party has now posted a clip in which three young and possibly not even adult women can be seen. One by one they turn towards the camera – with wide eyes. Whether it is the enthusiasm, the awe or the sheer horror that is written all over their faces, one can only speculate.
Anyway, who do we see immediately after the following re-cut? Markus Söder of course! Interrupted by a few quick black cuts, he seems to be talking paternally to the teenagers in front of a European, German and, of course, Bavarian flag. He has folded his hands and even the cross on the wall above him – oh wonder – doesn’t seem to harm him on his mini-girl mission.
But the clip only becomes completely creepy with the music that underlies it and that transforms the bloodsucker into a bloodhound. So there’s no other song to be heard than the raunchy outpouring “The Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang. “You and me, baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel,” the US band teaches us. Translated: “You and I, baby, are just mammals too, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.” Singer Jimmy Pop says he came up with the idea while watching copulating animals on TV. The song’s message is clear and no secret: Come on, let’s do it like the animals.
Easy to “cringe”
In the description of its Tiktok channel, the CSU had once announced that it should also be “cringe” here. Anyone who has a problem understanding the youth word of the year 2021, which means something like “foreign shame”, may also misunderstand the latest video with sexy Söder. In any case, critics of this appearance have been told on social networks that they may not have understood TikTok trends.
In retrospect, however, this trend seems to have been too “cringe” even for the creators of the clip. While the video continues to circulate on Twitter and Co., the CSU has now deleted it from Tiktok. May the coffin lid rest upon it forever. Otherwise we’ll set Dracula on those responsible.